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Why Cats Don’t Get Overwhelmed

Jun 2, 2017

Hint: They Get Their Needs Met…

Somatic Coaching & Co-Active Communication
By Ann-Marie McKelvey, LPCC, MCC

Unlike Dahkini, my coon cat, I sometimes get into the Overwhelm Mindset. Why? I become a brain-on-a-stick. In other words, I disconnect from my body to put projects ahead of my physical, emotional and mental needs. It’s that simple.

She leads a balanced life.

Dahkini, on the other hand, naps when tired. Hunts when hungry. Rolls in the catnip when ready for entertainment. Curls in my lap when she wants to be cuddled and stroked. Stretches out on the cool Saltillo tile when too warm. Nestles into the down comforter when chilled. She goes invisible when she doesn’t want to interact. And is expressive when she wants to play. She communicates well to herself and me. As a result that four legged gets her needs met.

She knows when and how to say no.

Although I can count on her to cuddle into me during meditation each morning, I can’t count on her for anything else. She knows when to say no. She walks away when she has had enough. Knowing what she doesn’t like makes room for what she does like. And she does what she likes! 

She knows when to let go.

When Dogen, her son, didn’t come home she watched through the glass portal door each night waiting for him. She made sounds I had never heard. We both mourned. Then after one month she nudged me, circled me, and literally pushed me into my bedroom. After one month of waiting for Dogen we both realized he wasn’t coming home. And so we closed up the house and slept deeply that night.

Somatic Coaching: Self-Connection with BodyMind

At the beginning of each MCS class, with the Tibetan bowl chiming, we pause, relax, open, trust what emerges, listen deeply and speak our truth – first to ourselves and then to others. We connect with our bodies and minds. We consciously raise the level of our vibratory frequency.

Utilizing the body’s messages, we learn to say “Yes!” to passion, contribution, spacious mind and free-flowing Qi. We learn to say “No” to the Paths of Overwhelm, Too Busy, Too Exhausted. We turn away from paths leading toward illnesses, low self-esteem and disempowerment. The world filled with deadlines, hurry-hurry attitude, destructive emotions, and in some cases a feeling of doom, dissolves as we relax into our bodies and trust what is communicated.

With on-going alertness, the body demystifies and downsizes scenarios that at one time felt impossible to work with. Instead, the body guides our monkey minds to help relax our bellies, our thoughts, our hearts. Peace emanates. Enthusiasm for the present bubbles. Our PresentFuture Self is alive and well!

This month I encourage you to pause as often as possible. Check in with your body. Breathe into any pain or tightness. What does your body want you to know? How can you meet your body’s needs? And when will you do it?

I invite you to share your experiences at the next Mindfulness Coaching Call, this coming Monday, June 5 from 5-6pm Mountain. We will explore the benefits of somatic coaching and Co-Active Communication!

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I really enjoyed taking The Dynamic Trio: EMDR, Positive Psychology & Somatic Coaching. The course provided me with new knowledge and applications of the material, not just to use in my personal life but also to integrate what I learned into my practice as a mental health therapist… I appreciate Ann-Marie setting the mood for the group and laying the foundation for safety, acceptance and openness from the beginning.
Graciela OlidMS, LMFTRancho Cucamonga, CA
I signed up with the Mindfulness Coaching School after speaking with Ann-Marie, and because of her experience as an EMDR Therapist. The readings and classes have helped me expand my therapy skills and opened up new perspectives with my clients. Ann-Marie’s style of teaching matches my needs so well. Her intuition, playfulness and sense of adventure are evident during class. I look forward to continuing this journey of personal growth that will lead me to my bliss and help others to do the same!!
Dawn ZivanovichMSW, RSW, Certified EMDR Therapist
[Right Speech] highly resonated with me and my current needs for growth. I cannot be more thankful for the support of this community, and our instructor Meg…With the guidance and support of the Mindfulness Coaching School I can see that I am closer to a life of purpose and meaning. Thank you Ann-Marie, instructors and fellow coaching students for creating this wonderful community.
Ruby OrcuttStudent CoachDerby, NY
What seemed apparent in the course description [The Art of Engaged Mindfulness] cannot contain the experience of going on this journey with Ann-Marie and a class full of incredible people. Because of this course, I’m a better coach and a wiser human.
Sandy WrightM.A.Fayetteville, AR
I appreciated the online learning format for obtaining my EMDRIA credits and was glad to experience a taste of professional coaching. The class (The Dynamic Trio) made me curious about the process of transitioning from a clinical psychologist towards a professional coach. Thanks!    
Karen M. FahertyPh.D.
I went into Right Speech thinking it was a way to connect through words and discovered it was much more. Transforming beliefs and behaviors, courage, resilience, kindness, listening; the qualities of how and what we communicate, nonviolent communication, connecting to self, understanding our needs and feelings as a series of openings that help us coach our clients to self-awareness and the change they want to be.
Sandy WrightM.A.Fayetteville, AR
[Right Speech] was incredibly valuable for my coaching skills, and for my life. There was so much applicable information presented in an embodied and pragmatic way. [Meg Hess, PCC, D. Min.] has an ability to evoke wisdom from everyone.
Jasmin BristowStudent CoachHawthorne, CA
Simply put, when I was taught coaching by a popular institute, I learned to coach thoughts and feelings. When I was taught The Dynamic Trio: EMDR, Positive Psychology, and Somatic Coaching at MCS, I learned how to feel those feelings and release them. The mind and body connected; this was the missing link for me.
Moira ClearyStudent CoachJohns Creek, GA
Ann-Marie was so open and honest. She was extremely patient and I look forward to more classes with her. She embodies the true spirit of a coach as she pushes you towards your own personal goals, while managing to teach you to focus on the client’s goal as well. Kudos to her and her team!
Sparkle C. BuntyonStudent CoachHermitage, TN
My experience being an MCS student has been one of the most enriching in my entire life. It has brought me closer to my nature. I have more faith in the process of life, in the process of coaching, and in the process of being.
Ruby C. OrcuttNCC, MHC-P, CASACDerby, NY