Hint: They Get Their Needs Met…
Somatic Coaching & Co-Active Communication
By Ann-Marie McKelvey, LPCC, MCC
Unlike Dahkini, my coon cat, I sometimes get into the Overwhelm Mindset. Why? I become a brain-on-a-stick. In other words, I disconnect from my body to put projects ahead of my physical, emotional and mental needs. It’s that simple.
She leads a balanced life.
Dahkini, on the other hand, naps when tired. Hunts when hungry. Rolls in the catnip when ready for entertainment. Curls in my lap when she wants to be cuddled and stroked. Stretches out on the cool Saltillo tile when too warm. Nestles into the down comforter when chilled. She goes invisible when she doesn’t want to interact. And is expressive when she wants to play. She communicates well to herself and me. As a result that four legged gets her needs met.
She knows when and how to say no.
Although I can count on her to cuddle into me during meditation each morning, I can’t count on her for anything else. She knows when to say no. She walks away when she has had enough. Knowing what she doesn’t like makes room for what she does like. And she does what she likes!
She knows when to let go.
When Dogen, her son, didn’t come home she watched through the glass portal door each night waiting for him. She made sounds I had never heard. We both mourned. Then after one month she nudged me, circled me, and literally pushed me into my bedroom. After one month of waiting for Dogen we both realized he wasn’t coming home. And so we closed up the house and slept deeply that night.
Somatic Coaching: Self-Connection with BodyMind
At the beginning of each MCS class, with the Tibetan bowl chiming, we pause, relax, open, trust what emerges, listen deeply and speak our truth – first to ourselves and then to others. We connect with our bodies and minds. We consciously raise the level of our vibratory frequency.
Utilizing the body’s messages, we learn to say “Yes!” to passion, contribution, spacious mind and free-flowing Qi. We learn to say “No” to the Paths of Overwhelm, Too Busy, Too Exhausted. We turn away from paths leading toward illnesses, low self-esteem and disempowerment. The world filled with deadlines, hurry-hurry attitude, destructive emotions, and in some cases a feeling of doom, dissolves as we relax into our bodies and trust what is communicated.
With on-going alertness, the body demystifies and downsizes scenarios that at one time felt impossible to work with. Instead, the body guides our monkey minds to help relax our bellies, our thoughts, our hearts. Peace emanates. Enthusiasm for the present bubbles. Our PresentFuture Self is alive and well!
This month I encourage you to pause as often as possible. Check in with your body. Breathe into any pain or tightness. What does your body want you to know? How can you meet your body’s needs? And when will you do it?
I invite you to share your experiences at the next Mindfulness Coaching Call, this coming Monday, June 5 from 5-6pm Mountain. We will explore the benefits of somatic coaching and Co-Active Communication!