MENU

Brother David and Me: Ring of Gratitude

Jan 30, 2020

By Ann-Marie McKelvey, MCS Founder & Director

Upaya Zen Center, May, 2008 —
The very first thing I noticed about Brother David Steindl-Rast was his hands. Upon entering Upaya House he bowed, reverently greeting each of us with palms together and fingers pointed upwards. This fundamental mudra is known as gassho. For me it is a reminder to open to the strong abiding presence of deep gratitude and respect within each other and our environment.

At that time Brother David was a young 83 year old. Today at 93 he continues his activities as a Benedictine monk, Zen practitioner and global social activist. For decades his primary spiritual practice has been gratitude.

“Brother David,” I asked one early evening during a walk with him, “What is the most important ingredient in cultivating gratitude?”

“Surprise!” he answered with an enthusiastic gesture and grin. It was then I noticed and brought his attention to an unusual ring he was wearing made out of mala beads from India.

Brother David said he personally had made the ring and His Holiness the Dalai Lama had worn it the week before. In exchange he had given Brother David his mala of prayer beads to use. Later the two traded back. With a twinkle in his eyes he took the mala ring off his finger and put it on mine. He said, “This is a ring that has had good company. I want you
to have it.”

There it was; the element of surprise. Was I grateful? Indeed!

“Is it possible to always be grateful?” I asked.

“Yes,” Brother David responded, “We can be grateful for the opportunity that each event gives us. If we are in gratitude training to avail ourselves of the opportunities to enjoy whatever is presented to us, we can purposely look for the gifts.

“Ask, ‘What is this opportunity for?’ The answer will cause you to
grow. In retrospect, all our life experiences are wonderful opportunities for
growth.

“We tend to think joyful people are grateful for having so much joy. But it’s actually more simple than that. Grateful people are joyous because they are grateful.”

I often become somewhat narrow, perhaps even selfish, with my energy as I forget to nourish myself to counterbalance the work I do in the world. It is during these times I remind myself (when I come out of the trance) to seed and water the Field of Gratitude.

Are you looking for ways to practice gratitude?

One simple and profound gratitude practice is feeling and following the beat-beat-beat of your heart. I do this each morning prior to sitting on my cushion to meditate. I invite you to embrace the wonderment and gratitude of your aliveness by finding your pulse and feeling your blood pulsate through your precious human body.

Below are additional simple processes to evoke your Field of Gratitude.

1. Create a Gratitude Journal. Each morning write down five different aspects in your life that you are grateful for.

2. Practice looking at people and the world with eyes that say, “Surprise me!”. Notice what arises.

3. What makes you come alive? What do you want to dedicate your fullness to? For one day contribute the answer you receive to the world.

4. How shall you seed and water your Field of Gratitude?

5. Self-connect by asking if you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired. If you are experiencing any one of these four characteristics HALT. Nourish yourself and then consciously move back into the Field of Gratitude by writing in your Gratitude Journal.

6. Write a Gratitude Letter expressing to someone in your past something they did that made a difference in your life.

7. Go to your favorite spot in the forest, mountains, or shores. Sit down with your pen and paper and write about what you see. Let yourself be surprised.

8. Make your vessel of expectations smaller so that it will overflow with gratitude. So that it will overflow with Spirit.

9. Read spiritual writings s-l-o-w-l-y. Let the words send you back into the silence from where they came.

0 Comments

More Posts

Testimonials

I learned a great deal in the Business Alchemy course, mostly that I have the desire, motivation and ability to make coaching my life work. I am very thankful for the instructors helping me see the glorious possibilities that are within my reach.
Karen J. SidesStudent CoachKerrville, TX
The S-T-R-E-T-C-H! course was an amazing experience and it allowed me to grow (and stretch) as a new coach!
Joy Patton, Ph.DMt. Juliet, Tennessee
Ann Marie’s gentle teaching style and complete absence of judgement in The Art of Mindfulness was just what this stressed out lapsed meditator needed! Thanks to her skillful instruction, I now have a mindfulness practice that is so right for me it very quickly and naturally became part of the fabric of my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better experience or a more interesting and loving group of fellow students with whom to share it with. Truly life changing.
 
Helena Bouchez, ACCPrincipal, Executive Words
I not only enjoyed this course (The Art of Engaged Mindfulness) but have personally benefitted from the techniques and behaviors that were introduced in the class which I in turn introduced in my life. I am a true beneficiary of this program.
Farooq NazirPCCPakistan
I really enjoyed the class Skillful Means and felt it was the perfect class to kick off my quest to become a certified Mindfulness Life Coach. In this class I was introduced to the Essential Coaching Skills to use in a co-active coaching relationship. The material is well presented, organized and unpacked at a moderate pace that I could easily digest.
Pamela J. HealyStudent CoachNorwell, MA
Watching Ann-Marie coach is always such a great experience. I always learn a lot from her style and approach to things. She is a gifted instructor. I love her pace and the calmness she exudes in her teaching style.
Christine LucenteMCS GraduatePengilly, MN
Right Speech is not only something you can take into your coaching practice but it’s something you can take into your personal life as well. These skills have already been extremely helpful in my everyday life from encounters with family to encounters with strangers and everything in between. You won’t regret taking it, I promise!
Milo MiserlianStudent CoachSanta Rosa, CA
This course [Skillful Means] provides the nuts and bolts of how to formulate and execute a coaching session. It was charming, challenging and encouraged me to think critically.
William DrescherStudent CoachMiddleton, WI
[Right Speech] highly resonated with me and my current needs for growth. I cannot be more thankful for the support of this community, and our instructor Meg…With the guidance and support of the Mindfulness Coaching School I can see that I am closer to a life of purpose and meaning. Thank you Ann-Marie, instructors and fellow coaching students for creating this wonderful community.
Ruby OrcuttStudent CoachDerby, NY
[Right Speech] was a transformative class for me and Meg Hess was an inspiring and compassionate teacher. I have had an abiding interest in the notion of Right Speech, so I was looking forward to taking this class and curious about how it would unfold. It was very gratifying to see the teachings and practices we learned making a real impact on my listening skills, as well as on my responses to life circumstances and even world events. I am certainly taking away a wider scope of curiosity and the communication and listening tools to more effectively investigate that curiosity, which, in turn, expands the scope of my compassion.
Ilse ThompsonStudent CoachAuburn, Maine